Fame
by The Rising Phoenix
Summary: When Makoto arrives home and notices something amiss, she goes in search of answers. Holding close the one you love most is important. But listening can be equally, if not more important at times. After all, the stresses of being well-known aren't all it that it is made to out be. Rated T/High T to be safe. Please Review!


_**(A/N: Hey everyone! Here is a little something I thought of today. I hope you enjoy it. This is a one-shot for now, unless requested otherwise. It's AU, and Rated a High T to be safe. Please Review! ~The Rising Phoenix~)**_

 **Title:** Fame

Makoto came home after a moderately exhausting shift at the restaurant.

She couldn't wait to spend a quiet night at home with Usagi. Makoto wasn't sure what Usagi was up to, but knew she loved being held just as much as Makoto loved holding her in her arms.

Tossing her keys in the basket on the nearby table she called for Usagi, who did not answer.

Not very unusual. Usagi's sleeping habits had improved greatly since she was a teen but since she became an established author, she would sometimes be more nocturnal and sleep during the early evening.

Makoto stopped with a gasp at the threshold just after the kitchen.

In the living room, books where strewn haphazardly, having been thrown all across the floor. They were all of Usagi's. Makoto quickly glanced at the shelf. The first editions and award winning editions were still securely behind protective casing.

The ones Makoto saw on the floor were filled with highlights. This too was not unusual for Usagi. She had a set of books that she would continuously highlight with various colors depending on what theme she was looking to establish for her characters, the plots, etc.

"Usagi? Where are you?" Makoto was about to run to their bedroom. Had she been kidnapped? As she passed the doorway to turn the corner, a pink bunny sticky-note caught her eye.

' _Sorry for the mess. Went to the cabin. Not sure I'll be back tonight. Love you. ~U_ "

Makoto expelled a large sigh of relief.

She looked at the clock, smiling and cleaned up the books on the floor. She grabbed one of the books she felt Usagi had been working on. Usagi would use her previous highlighted books to make sure she remained consistent and that continuity were strong in her stories.

Putting her jacket back on, and picking up her keys again, Makoto began the half hour drive to their cabin in the mountains.

Unlocking the door, she closed it softly.

The lights were dimly lit, she could hear the crackle of the fireplace and smelled the woodsy scent.

"Usagi?"

"Makoto?" Usagi asked, coming from the kitchen with a mug of tea in her hands. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw the living room. I was worried - even with your note."

Usagi gave a soft smile, before putting her mug down and walking into Makoto's arms. Usagi gave her a soft kiss in further greeting.

"I'm sorry I worried you." She replied, seemingly reversing her stepes, now out of Makoto's arms. "What happened?" Makoto asked as they entered the living room. After receiving a mug of tea of her own from Usagi, Makoto sat on the couch to watch Usagi begin to pace.

"Everything."

"Was it a bad review?" Makoto knew that probably wasn't the reason. Usagi was used to reviews of all kind. She typically took it in stride. She expected the bad reviews.

"No...I just don't know what to _do!_ "

"With what?" Makoto was beginning to get concerned.

"About the novels...I can't handle this."

"Handle what, Usagi?"

"The fame. I can't take any of this. The pressure to constantly write, produce, keep up, constantly _give_ …"

"Usagi, where is this coming from?" Makoto stood and took her by the shoulders before drawing Usagi into her arms.

Usagi sighed. "My publisher/agent is getting irritated that I haven't even started on a fourth book...I've been writing for a year straight, published two books in the last two _year_ s, been on tour on top of that...I need a break. And I've told him that….He doesn't seem to care."

Before Makoto could reply verbally, Usagi continued. "It's not _my_ fault writer's block has hit so badly that I can't figure out where to take my characters next. I feel like anything new I could do, or think of, has either already been done, or wouldn't be true to my characters. I won't destroy their integrity, even if they're all fictional."

Usagi walked out of Makoto's embrace again, now with her back to Makoto and staring out the frosted window. Makoto opened her mouth again. "I didn't want _this_...Didn't expect this...Didn't _ask_ for this...Was never _ready_ for this. This is worse than being Sailor Moon." Makoto could tell from her voice she was holding back tears.

Makoto hated to see Usagi this overwhelmed for any reason.

"At least with Sailor Moon they don't know my identity. But even with the pseudonym, they know me during the day."

"I hate this...I'm exhausted and not hungry and…" Usagi rubbed her forehead; a headache having been brewing for some time.

Makoto took Usagi back in her arms and held her tightly, letting Usagi's tears fall. Usagi wrapped her hands under Makoto's arms, both of her hands resting on the back of Makoto's shoulders. "And what?" She encouraged.

"And I hate touring more than I let on." Came the reluctant reply.

Makoto pushed Usagi back enough to look into her eyes. "How bad?"

Usagi chewed her inner cheek. "Enough that I never eat nearly as well on tour, and...I'm not sleeping on tour; barley at all."

It was odd for Usagi to be this overwhelmed so long after a tour, rather than dealing with stress during the tour. When Usagi returned from the tours was when she typically felt revitalized after a week.

But it had been almost a month. Was she hurting this much and Makoto failed to notice?

"Usagi...Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Makoto held her face in her hands.

"Because."  
"Because why?"

"Because this is my _career_...I made my bed...I should lay in it shouldn't I?"

Makoto looked at Usagi, her eyes full of emotion. Hurt for Usagi's pain and stress and keeping it to herself. Guilt for not seeing her emotional pain and not making more of an effort to try and go with her on her latest tour. And love, for taking the responsibility and ownership day to day of her authorship. She pulled Usagi's face towards her and kissed her softly and slightly quickly before kissing her again, with their kiss lasting much longer.

Usagi immediately melted into Makoto, her arms tightening.

Breaking the kiss, Makoto kissed and rested her lips against Usagi's forehead. Usagi refused to look into Makoto's eyes.

They simply stood their in silence, shutting out the world except for themselves.

"Do you want to stop writing? Stop the series?" Makoto asked softly after awhile.

"No. I love what I do. I love these characters. I love their story. Very much."

"Yes, you do."

"But this sudden, extreme… _demand_ for _more_ , I-"

"Screw what everyone else _wants_ Usagi. What do _you_ want?" Makoto initially started out annoyed, but her tone quickly became softer.

"I don't know right now. And there's too much pressure. I'm good under stress, but this is ridiculous." Makoto held her even tighter after feeling her shudder.

"The fans...They feel more rabbid lately. Clamoring for more, yet all want their ideas heard...my PO Box is constantly full; emails even fuller...Practically impossible to respond to them all...Ugh stupid Shingo."

"What?" Makoto asked, rather confused.

"Tricked me into watching Stephen King's "Misery" right before my tour."

Makoto kissed Usagi's temple. "I won't let that happen. Ever."

Part of Makoto wanted to laugh, even a little. But chose not to and instead guided Usagi to the couch. Makoto sat down, pulling Usagi into her lap with her back to her. She began gently massaging Usagi's shoulders. Makoto was only partially surprised at how much tension she had been holding.

Usagi just concentrated on the feel of Makoto's hands working her shoulders and upper back. She relished in her touch. Before Makoto had followed her (which Usagi didn't understand why she was surprised), she just wanted to be alone.

Makoto had her own work stresses and to Usagi, it felt like all Usagi ever did was complain about hers. Usagi knew one on hand that wasn't true. Makoto would vent when she needed to - an employee here, bureaucratic red tape there...But it helped being in charge of her own place. While Usagi knew it was by no means easy, the only thing Makoto had to worry about was keeping her recipies the same and thinking of something new every season.

Except, because Makoto was a fast and easy learner, Usagi felt it came naturally to her.

She felt it came naturally to her, but knew Makoto would spend hours on end in _their_ own kitchen trying out a new flavor combination here, trying to slightly improve something that was not already highly liked, or trying not to get caught up in the competition of it all.

So yes, Makoto often stressed and worried over her career. Usagi chewed her inner cheek again, retensing, and feeling guilty over not being considerate of Makoto's stress. She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut briefly, not wanting to cry again. Usagi then felt Makoto's lips between her shoulder and the base of her neck. "What are you thinking?" Makoto asked quietly.

"Nothing."

"Usagi…"

"Please, not tonight? Just...just keep doing this?" Usagi angled her head to the side, to allow Makoto more access to her neck. Makoto sighed quietly, but Usagi felt her nod anyway. Usagi felt herself sink into the couch a little, with Makoto having opened her legs to have Usagi settle between them. She had turned Usagi so her knees rested over Makoto's leg. Makoto brushed a stray strand of hair away from Usagi's neck, continuing to kiss her. They held each other's hand, while one of Makoto's held onto Usagi's shoulder, while Usagi's free hand rested on Makoto's knee.

Makoto kissed her neck, then brought her free hand under Usagi's chin to kiss her mouth again. "Please try to relax. I hate seeing you like this."

After kissing for a few more moments Usagi broke it, resting her forehead against Makoto's jaw and slipping her free arm around Makoto's back. Usagi glanced at the slowly dying fire in the fireplace.

Without a word, Usagi left Makoto's embrace and tended to the fire. After providing more kindling, Usagi found herself having grabbed a large blanket and sitting on the floor in front of the fire, rather than returning to Makoto.

Makoto watched her, but chose not to think too much into it. Makoto moved from the couch herself, almost tentatively approaching Usagi. "Usa?"

Usagi turned slightly, glancing briefly at Makoto before returning her gaze to the fire. Makoto wasn't sure how she, herself felt other than something akin to sad.

Until she felt the gentle tug of Usagi's hand on hers.

Makoto sat next to Usagi, whose hand never left hers after reaching for it, leaving her posture open for Usagi to snuggle into her embrace if she wanted.

"I...I just feel like I failed tonight."

"Just because you're in a bout of writer's block, or the fact that because you're successful, the fans and the tour has gotten to you?"

"Yeah...And I feel like I failed you." Makoto barely heard her whisper above the crackling of the fire.

"Usagi Kino, look at me. Look at me right now." Makoto practically demanded. And they demanded nothing from their relationship with each other except for them to continue to be who they have been since meeting at fourteen years old.

Usagi sighed again before doing what she was asked. Her hand had been gripped tighter after her statement.

Usagi was surprised to see a brief flicker of fire, or was it lightning flash behind Makoto's eyes.

"You think just because you're overwhelmed with your career and the fame that you've failed me?" Makoto's question was felt incredulous. Makoto couldn't believe she was hearing this, forget Usagi actually saying it.

"No. I feel like I've failed you because I can't handle the consequences that come with my choices, yet I watch you day in and day out and I have the audacity and arrogance to think you have it easier than I do, when I know for a fact _because_ I watch you day after day that it is nowhere near easy for you. I'm failing you because I feel jealous. And I have nothing to be jealous of because I am incredibly happy for you. That is the dominant emotion, happiness. But this stupid twinge of jealousy simply because I can't handle my own issues isn't fair to you. It's timing sucks too."

"You? You're jealous of me?"

Usagi refused to look at Makoto, suddenly finding the fire much more interesting. What did Rei see in this element anyway?

"Usagi."

"Hmm?"

"I'm jealous of you too."

Usagi all but snorted, a scoff to her voice. "Yeah right. What do you have to be jealous of? I'm hardly home anymore. We never see each other. I'm always asleep when you get home lately. I've got so much fan mail that our joint office got taken over and we are hoarded in physical papers because of my writings. What is there to be jealous of?"

Usagi was surprised at Makoto's almost instant and immediate reply. "The incredible imagination of which you possess. Of the ability to create such depth within these characters, even sometimes the ones who don't always seem good, but you create such sympathy for them. Of your desire to always see the good in others; to bring out the best in people; help the underdog, and have people seen for who they really are. To think of it, and then write it with such passion it looks flawless; and seems that way sometimes too. Even though I know it's anything but peaceful at times. The fact that you still love your career even when you are at your wits end and you threaten to destroy everything in the works."

Usagi turned to Makoto. "You're thinking of quitting? Of giving up your -"

"No, no. I promise. No. I still love what I do even when I want to throw everyone out of the place, throw all the dishware and pots and pans around and start fresh."

Usagi sighed in relief. "Good."

"But really? You see that within my writing?" Silent tears were falling from her eyes.

"I've always seen it within you, not just within you writings Usa, but within _you_. Ever since we met." Makoto replied softly, her hands framing Usagi's face again and wiping away her tears. Usagi gave a soft gasp, as she glanced at the fire before looking back at Makoto. Before Makoto could pinpoint what had changed within her eyes, Usagi was kissing Makoto passionately.

They each took notice of the coolness of their rings, causing them to smile.

Makoto wrapped Usagi in her arms again, kissing away her remaining tears.

"I love you, Mako."

"I love you too, Usa."

"I-I wanted to be alone tonight, and was originally hoping you wouldn't follow me." Usagi said softly.

"Then you shouldn't have left a note." Makoto said with a smile.

"If I didn't you would have surly called the police, or the Scouts. I didn't want you in an all out _panic_ because I know how you get when you can't contact me within a certain amount of time." Makoto only held her tighter, both smiling at Makoto's protectiveness.

"Fair enough."

"Still want to be alone tonight?"

"No way in hell." Usagi snuggled tighter into Makoto, needing her to be close.

"Makoto?"  
"Hmm?"

"I had no intention or desire for company or talking tonight, even from you. And you're everything to me. All I wanted to do was just... _be_. Even if it was be miserable….But I was wrong. I don't want to be miserable."

"What do you want?"

"For you to hold me."

Makoto smiled, kissing her deeply. One hand held her face, with the other on her waist. As she kissed Usagi, Makoto's hand that held her waist, trickled up Usagi's back under her shirt. Usagi squeaked, jumping forward as Makoto chuckled. "I was wondering if you wanted me to make love to you tonight?" Makoto asked, glancing at the fire with a small smile before looking deep into Usagi's eyes.

She hated that she saw the small debate. "Yes you deserve to be loved like this Usagi, even after such a conversation like tonight. We can work through this. It won't break us apart. There are plenty of others who have not only broken up because of less, but also because of so much more. Minor jealousy is normal; to some degree it is normal. We. Won't. Break."

Makoto saw the gradual change in Usagi's eyes.

"Did you have this planned or something?"

Makoto chuckled. "Minus holding you in my arms? Not at all."

Makoto thought she saw Usagi consider her earlier question.

"Please?" Makoto smiled as she brought Usagi to her body, kissing her passionately...

The next morning Usagi awoke with a start, only to feel herself held tighter in someone's embrace. She took a moment to orient to her surroundings. She realized she was in the cabin, in front of the fireplace, in Makoto's arms with the large blanket covering them both against the chilliness of the cabin floor and the cold temperatures outside.

Usagi smiled contentedly She carefully disengaged from Makoto's warm embrace, and grabbed one of the bathrobes that hung on the arm of the chari nearby. Pulling it tightly around her body, and seeing it was 6:30 in the morning, Usagi quietly padded into the kitchen and began a kettle of tea.

Picking up her nearby tablet, she checked the local news and weather. Usagi took the kettle off the stove and turning the stove off before the kettle could fully whistle and wake Makoto. Though she knew she would have to soon. Traffic might be hell on the roads back home, especially during rush hour.

Closing her tablet, Usagi curled in her chair with her tea. She smiled at the memory of last night. She didn't realize how much of Makoto she missed, not only emotionally, but physically as well. Usagi certainly wouldn't forget how incredible it was to be loved by Makoto anytime soon either. Their love life was not stagnant by any means, but both had been working a lot lately. Maybe Makoto was right. A little jealousy wasn't too bad was it? Makoto that later clarified that perhaps it wasn't jealously, but work ethic that they were "jealous" over. They promised each other to talk more often...

"What are you doing up? Come back to bed...The blankets...Forget it. Come back to _me_." Makoto, replied drowsily having entered the kitchen in her own bathrobe, looking for Usagi. Usagi laughed at her morning sluggishness. "I'd love to. Maybe later when you get home from work. I've always been kind of curious to know what an afternoon rendezvous would be like."

Makoto was now fully awake.

"Um...No. Not at work."

"I said after - "

"Usagi - I go into work at 3 today. I won't be home until 9."

The look of confusion made Makoto chuckle

"I...I thought you had to be in at 8 this morning…"

"I put in for the afternoon/evening shift last week."

Usagi placed her head in her hand and scrubbed her face.

"While I'm sorry I dashed your desire for an afternoon interlude...Ever consider what a morning one would be like?" Makoto smiled mischievously and laughed out loud that she could still make Usagi blush very deeply, as Usagi looked almost anywhere else other than Makoto.

Usagi glanced at the clock again. They had plenty of time. Usagi _was_ feeling cold, despite the warm tea.

"I would be lying if I said that I hadn't…"

"Should I relight the fireplace?"

Silently, Usagi stood up and shook her head, reaching for Makoto's hand as Makoto followed, noting a mischievous twinkle in Usagi's eyes as they headed towards the master bathroom...

 _ **(A/N: Please Review! ~TRP~)**_


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